“Ah, Sheila, I thought you weren’t going to make it!”
“Sorry, girls. I had a bit of a disaster this morning. Don’t get me started!”
The other ladies eyes lit up with curiosity, eager for gossip.
“Well, I was just ready to leave, when I noticed a few cups lying on the sink, so I thought to myself, Sheila love, you’d better stick them in the dishwasher and turn it on. You know his lordship won’t lift a finger unless there’s no dishes left in the cupboard. Anyway, there I was, bent over putting them in the rack, when in strolls our Max, and him dragging half the bloody garden in with him …”
The other ladies frowned in sympathy.
“Well, before I could stop him, he’d leapt on me and planted his dirty paws all over my nice blouse. He was only being playful, but jaysus, my outfit was ruined! I had to beat him off with a tea towel, for God’s sake. Needless to say, I couldn’t be seen out and about like that, so I had to go and change. Boy, is he in the doghouse when I get home! There’ll be no treats for him this evening, let me tell you!”
“I’ve always found neutering helps …” commented Eileen, a newcomer to the ladies group.
“Oh, I’m not sure he’d go for that, my dear.”
“It’s not that bad. A few days to heal and he’d be right as rain. Once the lampshade is off and the stitches have been removed, he’d be fine, but I can guarantee he’d be a little calmer after that. The vet bills aren’t too costly these days either.”
“No, I don’t think my husband would never go for that … though it does sound tempting after the morning I’ve just had.”
“Men! They can be sensitive about the subject,” agreed Eileen. “You’d think you were asking them to cut off their own balls, the way they go on. Such babies! Listen, girl, you just need to put your foot down. Tell the hubby that it’s the dog, or his balls. Either way, one of them has to go!”
“I think you misunderstand,” explained Sheila, struggling to contain her mirth. “The dog has already been neutered, but Max is my husband.”