Cupid Diaries- Book One- Day One
After flying around my bedroom for an hour, I grow bored of the new wings I’d sprouted. Generally, I’m far from impressed with my whole reincarnation, or whatever you want to call it. Still, I had to admit that the ability to turn myself invisible had its serious potential, and the flying about wasn’t a complete bummer.
I went for an invisible stroll… that really freaked the neighbour’s cats out. They can sense that sort of thing, you know.
I was having great fun tormenting them when the damned bow decided to do its thing again.
Another budding romance blossomed before my tear-stained eyes.
I wasn’t even aiming or anything! The bow just forced my hand to slot an arrow and pull the string. It was like it sensed the couples’ compatibility and did its bit to make their love a reality.
Needless to say, I flew straight home and locked myself in the house.
I was not going to be a puppet for anyone, especially not an inanimate object.
I decided to go on strike, and hope that Cupid’s Bow would reject me as a suitable candidate and go find some other sucker to do its bidding. Things could go back to being normal.
It didn’t take me long to get bored.
In desperation for entertainment, I tried trolling some social media sites hoping to wind some idiots up, but I’d barely gotten logged in with one of my fake identities when the bow started to hum like an overripe fart. Before I knew it, I was firing little arrows at the profile pictures on the screen. Surely it couldn’t induce love through the internet.
That was cheating!
A brilliant idea came to me then. I’d check out some trashy porn sites.
The bow was not happy with this.
In retaliation, it messed with the search engine and suddenly I was seeing naked pictures of little cherub freaks. Who monitors the internet these days anyhow?!
Some innocent nine year old could accidently stumble across this site and be ruined for life.
Don’t laugh! This is serious.
A few words is all it takes: Cherub, Love, Bondage, Threesome … and wham-bang, thank you ma’am! There they are … Forever lost!
I tell you, looking at that site was such a passion killer. It put me off my microwave curry too. Never mind the nine year old! I was scared for life after watching that.
I considered calling some mates over for a bit of fun, but what could I say? How would I explain the new me?
“Oh, hi guys, come on in. Grab some beers from the fridge and let’s party…”
“What, oh yeah. I’ve lost a few pounds. It’s the new diet I’m on , It’s a miracle.”
“What, you don’t like my new look? Diapers are all the rage, you know. The Parisian catwalks are full of them this season…”
See what I mean?
Then there was always the risk that Cupid’s bow would start acting up. What if it started setting up love trysts between my mates? That’d be too weird.
That left only me with one option.
I picked up my mobile and called a number.
Instantly, my phone rang.
“Hi! Is Cupid there?”
Oh hi! I was just about to call you! How’s it been? Long time, no see.”
“That’s what happens when you’re invisible!”
I laughed at my own joke and continued to chat away for another half hour before I grew tired of hearing myself talk.
Needless to say, there are cheaper ways to go mad than to talk to oneself over the phone. Eventually, I hung up on myself.